


Not Sure Who Has The Braincell Right Now, But It's Not Geralt

by bitxh



Series: Fics I Wrote After My Idiot Brain Couldn't Stop Thinking About A Tumblr Post [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Being an Idiot, Good Parent Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Inspired By Tumblr, Jaskier is a good dad, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg Friendship, Jaskier | Dandelion Being a Feral Bastard, M/M, yennefer is a good mom, yennefer loves drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitxh/pseuds/bitxh
Summary: this was inspired by a post on tumblr by yazuminkelei about things that make jaskier go apeshit
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Fics I Wrote After My Idiot Brain Couldn't Stop Thinking About A Tumblr Post [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1638892
Comments: 35
Kudos: 601





	Not Sure Who Has The Braincell Right Now, But It's Not Geralt

Jaskier hasn’t spoken to Geralt in two days. Obviously he hasn’t been silent for two days, quite the opposite actually, he’s been talking nonstop. He's also been ignoring Geralt's existence. He spent most of the first day talking to Ciri, spewing nonsense he claims happened to him years earlier; Geralt would have pointed this out but he didn’t want to risk angering the bard further, so he simply walked alongside Roach on the side Jaskier wasn’t on, holding the reins and pretending he couldn’t hear the bard. 

From what Geralt could see of Ciri’s face from where she sat on Roach she looked delighted with whatever tale Jaskier was spinning. Which as long as Ciri was still happy there wasn’t too much of a problem.

She tended to take after Jaskier’s moods, which could be dangerous considering her powers. When it was contained though it was quite funny to watch, or at least Yennefer seemed to think so the last time she saw them. The girl had all of Geralt’s seriousness, but her mood shifted as fast as Jaskier’s, and any changes to her mood were often a result of Jaskier’s.

It wasn’t really a surprise when they got to the inn they would be staying in for now and Yennefer was there waiting for them. She seemed to be able to sense Jaskier’s rare sour moods, which knowing her she probably could, and delighted in showing up for however long it took for him to calm down. 

What was a surprise however was the fact that Jaskier looked thrilled when he spotted the sorceress. “Yen!”, he laughed, spreading his arms wide clearly waiting for the okay to hug her.

Yennefer looked confused for a split second before smirking and returning the hug, looking pointedly over the bard’s shoulder at Geralt. The hug was cut short by Ciri tugging on the woman’s arm practically beaming, “Yen!”, she squealed.

“Hello Cirilla how have the boys been?”, Yennefer gazed fondly down at the girl. The only response she got was a glare at Geralt, which made Yennefer burst into laughter, “I see.”

Jaskier and Yennefer spent the night drinking, laughing with their heads bowed together, and knowing Geralt’s luck plotting something. Sure the two had been getting along better recently, but the Witcher had thought that had been for Ciri’s benefit. Ciri however was just sitting there listening to the conversation looking intrigued and occasionally nodding sagely, but clearly a bit confused at whatever was being discussed. 

The night was far more awkward than the day had been. Yen had bought the rooms before they had arrived, meaning there were only two. One for Ciri and herself, and one for Geralt and Jaskier, which normally the pair would have been thrilled about. Tonight however Jaskier was simply flitting about the room talking to himself then singing under his breath while he mended one of Ciri’s dresses. He seemed to be in a great mood except for the fact that he wouldn’t acknowledge Geralt’s existence.

It’s not like Geralt was trying very hard to get the younger man’s attention, but it was unlike Jaskier to hold a grudge for this long, while remaining, at least on the outside, perfectly calm. Normally when he was upset with Geralt he made a point of letting Geralt know exactly why, multiple times, loudly. The bard wasn’t threatening in the slightest, especially not to Geralt, but there was something to be said for his lung capacity, and his love of yelling at the worst possible times. Like when they were hiding from a werewolf, or while Geralt was in the middle of fighting a nest of drowners. 

This was the first time Jaskier had been seriously mad at Geralt since Ciri had joined them about a month ago. That only explained the lack of yelling, the bard would never yell in front of Ciri, too worried about upsetting the girl. He however had no qualms confronting Geralt in front of Ciri, just like he had no problem admitting when he was wrong in front of her. He had told Geralt once he didn’t want her thinking that adults should be able to do what they want with no consequences, and that he wanted to set a good example for her. 

Jaskier was fiercely protective over the princess and was generally more responsible and level-headed when she was with them. They had an agreement with Yennefer; during the summer months Ciri would travel with them and learn to fight, during autumn and summer Ciri would stay with Yennefer and receive more formal training, and during winter they would all stay together at Kaer Morhen. 

The switch in Jaskier’s sense of self preservation was drastic. When it was just the two of them the younger would run headfirst into danger without a second thought, laughing all the while. When Ciri was with them everyone had to wash their hands before eating, which made sense but was still tedious some days. The bard was still erratic, and all around over-energized, acting silly with Ciri, and teasing Geralt for being so serious, but Geralt could tell he worried a lot about the girl, which was ironic considering Ciri could protect herself much better than Jaskier.

The last time Jaskier had gotten mad at Geralt in front of Ciri had been when they had picked her up from Yennefer’s at the start of the summer and Geralt had given the princess a dagger. It was very similar to the one he gave Jaskier really, tiny but efficient, not likely to kill anyone unless that was the intent of the wielder. Yennefer had been okay with it when Geralt had asked her, so Geralt had figured the Jaskier would have been as well. 

The bard had been pissed, once Ciri was out of hearing range, saying her goodbyes to Yennefer, Geralt was being tugged down the hallway by his arm. Jaskier had begun yelling at him as soon as they found an empty room. It had taken a couple minutes but Geralt had calmed him down and gotten Jaskier to agree to Ciri being allowed to keep the blade. 

When they got back Ciri seemed a bit worried having seen them storm off, but she seemed relieved when she saw that the problem had been resolved. She had smiled up at the two of them, adjusted her bag on her shoulder, and set off to take her place on Roach. 

This time it seems that Jaskier was determined to stay mad though, and that was fine with Geralt. So the two sat together, neither acknowledging the other, Jaskier mending and Geralt cleaning his weapons. After about an hour the Witcher got up and laid down on the bed, a few minutes later the bard did the same. Geralt was about to turn to face away from the other when his arm was being lifted and Jaskier settled in next to him, wrapped in the Witcher’s arms, still not speaking, and quickly fell asleep. 

Geralt was confused as hell.

The next morning Jaskier still wasn’t acknowledging Geralt’s existence, he went about the room getting ready for the day, then slipped out for five minutes before coming back down and placing a piece of paper in front of Geralt that detailed a potential job, then walked back out. 

Geralt went down to the pub on the first floor of the inn, and sat next to Yennefer who was watching Ciri and Jaskier play some game that seemed to be mostly tossing pebbles in the air. Yennefer smiled at him as he sat, looking incredibly satisfied with just about everything, “I can’t believe you would be so stupid as to do that. I’ve never seen him angrier.”

Geralt grunted, “It was an accident.”

Yennefer laughed, “Still you would think your senses would have stopped you.”

“I was mad.”

“Are you still mad?”

“No.”

“Well that makes one of you then. Although I have to admit, he’s handling it very well in front of Ciri.” Geralt grunted in response. “So how do you plan on fixing this?”, the sorceress continued. 

“I don’t know.”, Geralt admitted. “He’s never been mad at me for this long before.”

Yennefer huffed out a laugh, “Well you did throw his lute off a cliff Geralt. I’d say that’s the one thing you really could do to genuinely upset him. He hasn’t even played it since!”

“It was an accident.”, the Witcher stopped to cross his arms, “Besides the lute is fine, Filavandrel must have enchanted it.”

Yennefer laughed again; she’s been doing that almost constantly since they had arrived, “Obviously the elven king enchanted his lute. Now go apologize to the bard before he moves past whatever this is and blows up at you.”, she gestures loosely to where the aforementioned man is currently getting his ass kicked at the pebble game by a literal child. 

Geralt grunted, but stood up and made his way over, “Jaskier we have a job lets go.”

The bard glances up at Geralt, rolls his eyes, and kisses Ciri on the forehead, “Raise hell for Yennefer.”, he says as he goes to stand. 

The princess pulls him down into a hug while giggling, “Bye Jaskier!”

They walk to the edge of the town before Geralt stops, grabbing Jaskier’s shoulder to stop the bard. “I’m sorry I threw your lute off of a cliff on accident.”

Jaskier snorts, “No you’re not.”

Geralt grimaces, he’s really not that sorry, “Jask…”, he starts.

The bard crosses his arms, “hmm”

“I am not sorry I threw your lute off a cliff,” Jaskier goes to pull away, but Geralt stops him, “I would have done it a long time ago if I thought that it would have survived.” Jaskier looks pissed now. 

“What I am sorry for is snapping at you. I shouldn’t have, it wasn’t fair.” Some of the tension leaves Jaskier’s shoulders at that, so Geralt continues, “I was worried about you, you always run headfirst into danger and I’m worried I may not be able to save you one day, and I was trying to explain this to you, but you wouldn’t stop messing with your lute, and I really just meant to grab it and put it behind me, but I overshot a bit…”

Jaskier sighs, and pulls Geralt down to kiss him. Geralt smiles into it before pulling back and asking, “So you’re not mad anymore?”

Jaskier smiles up at him and whispers, “If you ever mishandle my lute again I’m going to tell Yennefer about the time you got wasted and then cried over how small a baby deer was.”

**Author's Note:**

> i literally have not written anything with the intent to post it since july, so any critisicsms (i know i spelled that wrong) or suggestions yall have are hella appreciated!!!! also if this does well i might do a series of witcher one shots, either expanding on stuff i said here, or other ideas i have


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